7 Ways to Detect an Emotional Abuser

 1. They use pity as a tool. 

Right from the start, they pour out heavy stories from their past not just to connect, but to make you feel sorry for them. It feels off, like they want sympathy more than honesty.

2. They slowly shift your moral compass

Before you even realize it, you’re letting things slide things you’d never normally accept. But because you care so deeply, you stay quiet. You justify it to yourself because they’ve been through “so much.”

3. You end up feeling drained and taken for granted.

They talk down about their exes and old friends, calling them things like crazy, clingy, or obsessed and somehow you wonder. is that how they’ll talk about me later?

4. They shower you with flattery but it feels calculated.

You hear things like, I’ve never felt this way about anyone or You’re not like the rest. And while it sounds nice at first, it starts to feel like a script, not sincerity.

5. They flip guilt like a switch.

You bring up your needs or concerns and suddenly it’s all your fault. After everything I’ve done for you, this is what I get? You walk away feeling like you messed up, even when you didn’t.

 6. It becomes all give, no take.

You're bending, sacrificing, trying but it’s never enough. They’ll always have a reason why they couldn’t show up for you. but expect you to be there no matter what.

 7. They dodge accountability.

They’ll never say I was wrong. Instead, it’s always about what others did to them. Somehow, you end up being the one fixing their mess, apologizing for their actions, or carrying guilt that was never yours to begin with.